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October 15 2017

kivalidali:

socotic:

“Lie to me” she whispered.

“I love you” he said.

“Yall are weird” I said.

egberts:

astrolopy:

egberts:

do you think that mosquitos dare their friends to bite somebody with bugspray on

no, because mosquitos don’t have the mind to be able to communicate in such complex ways.

oh im sorry i didnt know u were the worlds top mosquito expert excuse me

papatulus:

sundial911:

papatulus:

why my hand shaky

your skeleton is ready to hatch

this is so fucking ominous thank you

tockthewatchdog:

homophu:

abilify:

if you wake up while McDonald’s is still serving breakfast then you’re doing good

doesnt mcdonalds have all day breakfast now?

if you wake up at all then you’re doing good

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the-real-eye-to-see:

Proud to see this

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butt-berry:

Out fishing with Blastoise

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butt-berry:

Out fishing with Blastoise

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spankmehillary:

I feel like Adam Sandler has a pair of these

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overachieversloth:

markv5:

“Технически, я не ходил по столу”…

I’m gonna shit a brick.

October 12 2017

lmaonade:

god i dumped the mouthwash in the cap and then when i went to put it in my mouth my body was like “ur doing a shot” and i just let the mouthwash slide down my throat

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October 11 2017

meta-xylene:

brunz:

meta-xylene:

brunz:

That Seinfeld fella is pretty funny he should get his own show

I’ve got some great news

what

I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to geico

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zackisontumblr:

blameaspartame:

Whup Tee Doo

Jo Ann has had ENOUGH

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nefacqua:

notlostonanadventure:

When you meet that bitch from the net irl

Start pounding joker

October 10 2017

egberts:

you know the eharmony video of the girl who really loves cats? that’s me but with kingdom hearts

altarofistus:

social experiment: reblog with the emotion that this image elicits from you

queensandkingsofattolia:

showerthoughtsofficial:

Gin and djinn are pronounced the same way. Both are spirits in a bottle.

This took me an embarrassingly long time to get…

thebootydiaries:

concept: u come over and i cook an apple for dinner. we are in love as we look at each other. a single tear hits the ground as i morph into an almond (slightly smaller than the average size). u are running as fast as u can.

durbison:

durbison:

lesbianium-z:

segadreamcastwebbrowser2point0:

glitchkid:

unclefather:

glitchkid:

jesus was a gamer

how

died in a t pose

respawned

noclipped thru the sealed tomb

Noclipped off the planet

Also, played as a healing class and everyone gave him shit.

standupbard:

i don’t “follow” my favorite bands. i just get pleasantly surprised when i find out that they released an album 2 months ago.

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